Writing your wedding vows is a special task. The vows are an essential part of your ceremony. There is a component that checks the legal boxes, known as the monitum (a qualified and authorised celebrant will ensure this is taken care of). Beyond that, you may want to add your own personal vows to the ceremony. Finding the right words, in the right place, at the right time is crucial. But how do you ensure your vows are filled with significance and meaning?
Overcoming Writer’s Block
We’ve talked about this in “Part One”, so I won’t say much more, but will leave a link below. In a nutshell, writers often speak of the dreaded “writer’s block.” But what if you’re not actually a writer and have never even left the “block”?
When writing the most important words of your life, having a mental block is understandable. As I mentioned, even experienced wordsmiths face blank-page syndrome. The best way to start is to start. That may seem like one of those “easier said than done” lines but it is true. Just write anything and don’t even think about editing as you go, whether it looks good or makes sense. JUST WRITE! Having some words on the page means you’re off and racing.
Below are a few of the states that you will find yourself in when trying to write.
Mind Blank: You haven’t got a clue where or how to start.
Midnight Inspiration: Brilliant ideas that wake you in the middle of the night.
Catch it, or it’s Gone: Flashes of inspiration that find you scrambling for a pen and paper.
Disconnect between head and hand: The words in your head make sense but don’t translate to the page.
Critical Overload: You have so many ideas coming at you that you lose yourself under a mountain of lexicon.
Flow state: You start writing and everything just flows so smoothly that you are afraid to stop for a break in case you lose the momentum.
Here’s the one major lesson to learn from all of that
Keep a pen and paper on you at all times. At worst, be ready to write into your phone’s notes or dictate into your phone’s voice recorder.
A FEW MORE TIPS AND THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND
It’s Not a Competition
Ensure your vows and your partner’s vows are similar in length and tone. Aim for about two minutes each.
Practice Makes Perfect
Memorise your vows to make them more meaningful and confident. Record yourself and practice until it becomes second nature.
Handle Humour with Care
If humour is your thing, go for it. If not, avoid trying to be a stand-up comedian. Humour can be tricky and might not be well-received. If you use humour, ensure your partner’s vows have a similar tone.
Showcase Your Personality
This is your time to shine. Be intimate, romantic, quirky, and cute. Reflect on both of your personalities and avoid Googling “Best Vows Ever Written” the night before. Originality and personality are key.
Eye Contact and Meaning
Look into your partner’s eyes as you say the vows. This ensures that both of you are fully present in the moment. Your vows are a promise and should be remembered forever. Keep your partner in mind while writing and reciting your vows.
The Legal Component
For your marriage to be legal in Australia, both of you must say the vows, known as the Monitum. The Monitum informs the couple of the legal and binding obligations of marriage within Australia. Remember, these legal words need to be said before your personal vows. Your celebrant will help you to ensure this box is checked. Speaking of celebrants…
Rely on Your Celebrant
Your celebrant is a valuable resource. They’ve heard and written more vows than anyone you know and understand all the do’s and don’ts. From a blank page to honed and polished vows, celebrants can offer invaluable feedback. Use them as a sounding board. A good qualified, and authorised celebrant is impartial, professional, and dedicated to making your day perfect.
Written by Nate Hamon for Rose Training Australia
Rose Training Australia provides the training you need to become a qualified celebrant who can officiate weddings and other life events. If you’re passionate about helping couples create their perfect moments, contact Rose Training today!
For more information on becoming a celebrant, contact Rose Training Australia today.
