ARE THERE ACTUALLY RULES WHEN IT COMES TO WEDDINGS?
Step back in time with me to a place where this was seen as the norm.
No, we didn’t all walk around with pixelated faces, but yes, gaudy, often shiny bridesmaid dresses were the done thing. Party favours of colourful candied almonds for every single guest were a must. Wedding dresses had to be white. Many of these things may still seem to be the way it had to be (and to some still have to be) but the truth is that there are very few rules when it comes to weddings.
The only real hard and fast rules are found in the signing of the paperwork that a good qualified marriage celebrant will provide. Find a good celebrant and you won’t go wrong.
Some so-called rules are actually superstitions while some are time honoured traditions or cultural customs. The main thing to remember when planning your wedding are the two operative words; “your wedding”. If customs and traditions and superstitions are your thing and you feel that fits you well, you should go for it. Otherwise, you can be as weird, colourful, black and white or low-key as you like.
Here are a few of the “rules” that seemed to have lasted through time.
RULE: On the Day, it is Bad Luck for the Groom to See the Bride Before the Wedding
Why? Assuming you’re not getting married on a reality TV show called MAFS or something, what’s the problem? Actually it does date back to a time of pre-arranged marriages but if you’ve already gotten lucky by finding the right person, what’s a little peek before walking down the aisle? Some couples may simply enjoy that exhilarating “moment” of seeing each other dressed to the nines from opposite ends of the aisle and that’s not a bad reason to hold off seeing each other for a few hours. Holding off also gives that first look at each other in wedding garb more magic. As for being unlucky though? Not unless you walk under a ladder, trip over a black cat and knock over a mirror.
RULE: You Need to Toss a Bouquet
Take it or leave it but considering the point is to find the next bride in waiting, these days you might not have the same excitable bunch of gals clamouring to retrieve a bunch of flowers and fighting tooth and nail to come out on top. Or maybe you have a guest list of rugby players and this could be a good opportunity to work on their line-out and mauling. At the end of the day it’s a fun tradition, but not an essential one.
Some couples are choosing to hand the bouquet to a loved one who has made an extra special effort in helping them with the wedding or to get to the celebrated day.
RULE: The Bride Should Be Escorted Down the Aisle and Given Away
Another heartwarming tradition that shows love and offers privilege to a person who has made a meaningful contribution to the bride’s upbringing. With that said, if a bride has nobody in particular she can think of to escort her, or she has too many people and can’t decide, going solo is perfectly fine.
RULE: The Bridal Party and Groomsmen Must be Evenly Matched
This helps with aesthetics for sure but if you’d like to throw off your OCD mother-in-law maybe odd numbers are the go. Actually, it would be more about feeling that you want person A and B by your side and none other without enforcing your spouse-to-be to keep to the same limit if they want their 3 sisters and weird cousin Janet. They don’t have to walk side by side down the aisle. They don’t have to partner up for dances. You’re not matchmaking.
RULE: You Have to Provide Wedding Favours
We’ve got a great blog on wedding favours if you like to check it out here – Wedding Party Favours – Rose Training Australia
Wedding favours can be a fun part of the wedding. Well, fun for the guests that is. Preparing them however can be a really stress-inducer as well as an added, unnecessary expense. If you want wedding favours go for it! Can I recommend looking for local businesses to utilise. Maybe there’s a local beekeeper and honey producer that can bottle little jars of honey for you. Or maybe there’s a local chocolatier who can make some cute little sweet treats. Whatever you decide, remember that it’s your choice. Favours are not a rule.
RULE: You Must Have a Wedding Cake.
Says who? If you didn’t have a wedding cake would you still be married when you walked out of the reception?
That’s not to say that a cake isn’t a good idea. Who doesn’t love a good wedding cake? Maybe a lot of people actually. Especially if you’ve already provided dessert. Or maybe the cake is the dessert. Well there you go. Have at it!
The point is, a wedding cake and the cutting of the cake is a fantastic tradition and one that’s not likely to be left to history however if you’re going small, saving money, not into thick royal icing… don’t assume that you absolutely must have a tiered wedding cake with all the bells and whistles and empty wallet that comes with it.
THE WRAP
There are more rules that aren’t rules which I’ll perhaps save for another blog but the point is, signing the forms and speaking the words provided by your qualified marriage celebrant are the only absolutely necessary procedures to follow. Otherwise, it’s your call. Of course many of these traditions are fun and help create a beautiful atmosphere so you may not want to ditch it all to simply say “I do” “Me to I do” and then scamper off. However, your time, energy, stress levels and bank balance as well as your own personality are all considerations that deserve thought.
This article was brought to you by Rose Training Australia. Australia’s leading Marriage Celebrant qualifier.
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