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For couples with children, involving them in the wedding ceremony in a meaningful way can be important. It’s not only a great opportunity to strengthen family bonds and create lasting, heartwarming memories but it will help the children to feel included in a massively important, sometimes (for the kids,) and overwhelming day.

For blended families it’s a great way to bring two families together.

For extended families it’s a great way to strengthen kin and tribe.


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Along with “Flower Child” – which, spoiler alert, we’ll talk about next – this is a classic role that is a perfect job for a child and can really help a kid feel special. There isn’t a whole lot that can go wrong and the instructions are simple.  

If they do need a little help, the Best Man – or another responsible adult (admittedly not all Best Men are responsible,) a child, toddler or baby can guide the eager ring bearer up to the couple to present them their rings.

Have them carry the rings on a cushion, in a little briefcase, in a small wooden box…

They could walk down the aisle, be pulled along in a wagon, ride a tricycle, walk a dog…


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The term itself throws our minds back to the 60s and 70s with the hippie movement. This doesn’t mean you’ll be dressing your precious, snot-nosed bundle of energy in tie-dyed clothing and have them protesting the wedding. “Flower Girl” is the more historical term of course and there’s little cuter than a dressed up like a princess, spreading colourful flower petals however in this age most don’t have an issue with any child being given the role of showering the aisle with romantic red rose petals or a harlequin of wildflowers before the bridal party enters the room.


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Allow the kids to be a part of the grand entrance by having them carry signs or anything symbolic ahead of the incoming bridal party. You can make it as sombre or as fun as you like.


There are a few different ways to perform a unity ceremony within the greater wedding ceremony. Two of the most popular include the “Coloured Sand Ceremony” and a “Unity Candle Ceremony”

Coloured Sand Ceremony

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This ceremony involves the couple and their children each pouring a different colour of sand into a transparent container such as a large glass jar or vase. As the sands are poured together, they create a beautiful and unique pattern, symbolising the coming together of the couple and their children to form a new family. The creation can then be kept in the family home on a mantle or place of prominence.

To perform the ceremony, besides the large transparent container, each person involved should have a small container of their chosen coloured sand. If the receiving container doesn’t have a large opening consider using a funnel to make pouring easier. 

The ceremony can be performed at any point during the wedding ceremony, but it’s often done after the vows or ring exchange.

During the ceremony, the couple can start by pouring a layer of sand into the container, followed by their children pouring their own coloured sand. The couple and children can take turns pouring their sand until the container is filled, creating a beautiful pattern of coloured sand.

Unity Candle Ceremony

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This ceremony starts with the couple lighting a candle together, to symbolise their love and commitment to each other. The couple can then invite their children to come forward and light a smaller candle from the main candle, symbolising the creation of a new family. You’d want to make sure you had a good videographer and photographer to capture this.


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During the exchanging of vows, the couple can make promises not only to each other but also to the children. This is a heart melting way to show the children how important they are to the couple and how committed they are to the new family.

Depending on the age of the children they may want to reciprocate with their own vows.


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Children can be invited to read a passage, a quote, a story or a poem during the ceremony. Why should adults have all the fun?

Click on the picture above to be taken to “The Best Wedding Readings for Children” from “Love Our Wedding Mag”.


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It’s hard to go wrong with gifts. The couple can exchange gifts with the children during the ceremony, symbolising the new family bond. It is a touching way to show the children how much they are loved and valued.

Gifts should be considered for their ability to become keepsakes that can be carried through life.

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Of course there are many special roles that children, depending on their age, can take on. Singing, dancing, witnessing, greeting, ushering… There’s no need to think of it as an “adults only” affair. Give the kids something to do!

Not a celebrant but are thinking of it as a great career or even side hustle option?

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